23 August 2013

the our lost jungle poetry form challenge: challenge #3 results

Today ends the second challenge of the 2013 Our Lost Jungle Poetry Form Challenge! This week's challenge was to write a "terza rima twist" poem, taking the traditional terza rima form and giving it your own unique "twist." This challenge was really about learning to put our own spins and twists on traditional forms in general. Remember: rules are made to be broken, and broken things are made to be beautifully reimagined.

You may wonder why I made you wait so long in the day to learn the winners. The short answer is: I'm a nerd. The longer answer is: I decided to make a "third rhyme of time." "Terza rima literally translates as "third rhyme." So for this prompt I decided to work in threes: thus the three winners. But I decided to go beyond that. You'll note that the time is 9pm (PDT). That's the third quarter of the day. It's also three squared. (Just for the record, I also considered posting at 3:33, but decided this was better.)

As noted earlier, I gave myself a personal "challenge" to choose three winners for this week's task. I'm breaking my personal "rule" about posting poems because the three winners today just kind of wowed me, and there's no easy way to pull a snippet that captures the full "wow" of each. (As a note, if any of the poets would like their poem abbreviated after today, please just shoot me a message and I'll do so!)

The first winner is a "sonically sensual" ... the sound of this poem was just riveting, and soothing, and surprising. The second was "sonically sexy"-- phrases within it literally made my heart skip a beat, like "I'm hungry, but I'm known." Finally, although the author of the third winner defined it as silly, I call it "sonically sentimental," or "sonically significant"-- it recalls memory, and awakens the imagination in a, yes, somewhat silly, but also very imaginatively powerful way. (Note: the third poem is now recorded in just a snippet.) Enjoy!

by Barbara Yates Young

Some dreams are flirts. Some, flings. Some are something else. Last
night was the best of one-night-stands, the one you don’t forget,
don’t let dissolve into the past.
I tossed and twitched and thought
about sleep and aches and crap until just after the train
moaned three a.m. at the river. Then a dream caught me,
cast me as its brilliant main
character, ingenue star of a scene about dueling dance.
Step dance, buck-and-wing, heel or toe, sweet, wild, plain-
Jane or crazy-fancy:
whatever my partner-antagonist dared me to kick,
I could lick. It was one-upmanship romance,
panting, lustful, helium-light, grinning and steaming.
My heart dancing lickety-split, I woke, beaming.


by De Miller Jackson

Place your hands within this quiet sky
and breathe these phrases blown.
Hold my heart and take this crazy ride.
Shhh, don’t tell: I’m hungry, but I’m known.
No cloud is the wiser
as I steal its silver for my throne.
This ghost, a restless untamed tiger
(my unheld breath its den),
my lungs a cage for willing fighter
I barter six stars for bread, and then:
we feast, marked (mocked) by moon
and tumble spill it all loose again.
Mocked by moon, we had it. All too soon.
Mocked by moon, we had it all, too soon.
Mocked by moon, we had it all, too.

A Not So Little White Lie
A snippet of the poem by Linda Evans Hofke

It's big and it's round and it's white,
but from the earth you cannot see
that up in the sky at night

the moon's really a big marshmallow.

And if you don't believe me,
if giving my word's not enough,
then consult cow mythology

which states "The moooooon is marshmallooooow." [...]


Congratulations to the three winners, and well done to all who participated this week! You all did extremely interesting and fun things with this form! Keep playing, and get ready for the next challenge.

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Join in the 2013 Our Lost Jungle Poetry Form Challenge!


  1. Congrats ladies on your sonically wonderful terza rimas. Thanks Khara for such fun prompts. Now another wait!

  2. Oh, wow! Thank you for chosing my "silly". It is meant for children. I think my mind was stuck in kindergarten when I wrote it. ;-)

    To be in the company of De and Barbara...awesome.

  3. An awesome trio! Congratulations to all!!

  4. Oooh! Linda. I like the idea of a refrain line.
    Two moon poems. I had to cut the moon to shorten a line.
    Thanks, Khara.

  5. Ohhhh! Yay! Thank you so much, Khara. And what awesome company I am in. As I told barbara on her blog, this line just hooked me, immediately:
    about sleep and aches and crap until just after the train
    moaned three a.m. at the river."

    And Linda, I adore children's poems (best, really, usually), and I LOVE your marshmallow moon!

    Thanks for the incredibly fun challenge, Khara. It was good to dust off my meter meter. ;)


Thank you so much for your comments! Please feel free to share your thoughts here; I look forward to engaging in conversation with you!

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